Something Picasso

A sigh of relief from Funnies this morning for those passengers aboard MS Balmoral who have finally made it to the New York coastline. Whilst some dress up in period costume and venture onto the choppy seas of history to pay their respects, we prefer to honour this tragic event through an eye-watering 2.5hr IMAX experience. Yes, friends, tonight is TITANIC 3D.

Move aside Fellowes, sunk by your own audience who – once they realised there was no Countess of Grantham in this multi-squillion TV trilogy – made for the nearest lifeboat. The true raconteur of this watery tale has returned, and this time it DOES look bigger than the Mauritania. Wa-hay anchor!